What's the funniest thing you heard in a movie theater?

I almost giggled when the thunderous background music crashed down over some dramatic scene. The music was way too loud.

That did it for me. I spat up my Coke and had to leave to clean up in the restroom.

My sister, a cousin, and I went to see “Love Story” in 1971 at a theater in Minneapolis. The movie starred Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal.

Why can’t the British eat or drink anything unless they place a table cloth on the table first?

Too many people heard her. Some guys behind us snickered at my sister’s remark.

Someone in the audience (who wasn’t paying attention) asked where the movie took place. Being born in the Midwest, my cousin jokingly shouted, “Iowa!”

I noticed heads bobbing and turning to look at the cold-hearted 16-year-old girl who didn’t cry. I lowered myself in the seat and tried to squeeze out a tear, but I couldn’t manage it.

Why does Boko Haram attack its own Muslims?

She glanced over at my dry eyes and loudly asked, “Why aren’t you crying?” I looked at her in surprise wondering why I wasn’t crying.

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Yeah, right!

Ali’s character called him "Preppy," if I remember right. He attended Harvard and she went to Radcliffe College.

I’m a man. Why do I always fantasize about men’s cock? I don’t want a relationship with the man, I just want to suck his cock.

As the movie progressed, Ali’s character was diagnosed with cancer. It was sad; I understand that. But everyone in the packed theater— and I mean everyone—seemed to be crying. I was the only person sitting there like a rock, staring straight ahead.

Finally, the music quieted down, and there was a 10-second lull. The only sounds I heard were people sniffing and sobbing around me. My sister was crying as well.

The acting just wasn’t believable. Ali’s swearing seemed so rehearsed, and Ryan played the poor little rich boy who played hockey.

So who has worn a cock cage. One of my guy FWBs put one on me last Sunday and left with the keys? I was very nervous at first but have calmed down. Told me he'll unlock it tomorrow.. Let me know.

My cousin didn’t want to go, but he had a car and could drive us to the theater.

I was surprised that I wasn’t able to shed a tear. I am an emotional sort of person, but that movie just didn’t do it for me.